The Details

 

1. Family & Friends

Take all the help you can get in the first month. It was helpful to think about how we wanted our family and friends to support us ahead of time. The roles for everyone else are clearer, but for family and friends the key was communicating what we needed and when.

When people asked how they could help, we had them do things like bring us food, drop off our favorite lattes, help with baby laundry, walk the dogs, do the dishes, hold Brantley while we showered or napped.

We even had some willing volunteers to take the night shift, so Travis and I could get some extra sleep in the first couple of weeks which made all the difference for us. People are willing to help – the key was communicating what we wanted and accepting it.

2. Lactation Consultant

This was my most important support person (other than Travis). Breastfeeding is hard – I took two breastfeeding classes, saw several lactation consultants in the hospital and still needed to see a lactation consultant once I got home.

Everything about breastfeeding is new and hard (latching, letdown, supply, positioning, timing, your anatomy, your baby’s anatomy, and more), and making sure your new baby is eating is the top priority at first.

I would have scheduled a lactation consult ahead of time if I had realized just how important it was. Their schedules fill up quickly, so make sure you pick someone early, and schedule ahead if possible or designate someone to reach out as soon as you go into labor, so you have an appointment with them once you get home. There are some options where you have to drive to them for an appointment, but I wanted someone to come to my house – in those first few days when things are difficult, it was just simpler and easier that way. Plus, they can help you get set up to feed in your own space.

My Charlotte recommendation: Rachael is simply the best – I cannot say enough good things about her.

TLDR: This is a key person to book ahead of time, and while the lactation support in the hospital is nice, it is not enough.

3. Birth Class

Our birth class was six hours long, and we wondered if that was way too much going into it. We realized that it was six hours well spent and appreciated having something so comprehensive – there is just a lot to learn. The most important part of this class for me was the time to practice labor positions and counterpressure. I was in labor for 36 hours, so knowing all the different positions ended up being super helpful for both me and Travis – in case you are wondering if both people need to go to the class. Schedule this for late second trimester or early third trimester (so the knowledge if fresh for labor).

My Charlotte recommendation: Julie leads the class we took – she is a former mid-wife with a ton of knowledge and experience and a great resource for questions later too.

TLDR: Take a comprehensive birth class that includes labor position practice and anatomy and physiology of baby and pelvis.

4. OBGYN

This one is obviously super important, and I really had no idea who to go or what to look for at first. You end up going to so many appointments throughout your pregnancy that you really have an opportunity to figure out if you have the right people though. I ended up switching practices in my second trimester and was so glad that I did. My first practice was run by clearly very intelligent OBGYNs but they were hurried, late, not proactive with education and discussion.

When I switched practices, I ended up seeing midwives who would spend extra time answering questions, educating us, providing additional resources, following up from our conversations, and they were looking to hear my preferences and vision for my birth experience.

All of that to say – your birth experience is often very dependent on these people so make sure you feel right about it beforehand and know that you can always make a change.

My Charlotte recommendation: Providence OB/GYN was amazing – they have midwives and OB/GYNs that work together to deliver at Presbyterian. I am so thankful for the support they provided throughout my delivery above and beyond just showing up for the “pushing” stage.

TLDR: Think about your ideal birth experience and determine if your provider is aligned and will support that.

5. Prenatal Yoga 

This ended up being so nice for stretching out my new aches and pains, clearing my mind, learning about my pelvic floor, meeting other moms, and learning some helpful poses to encourage good baby positioning. I continued my other exercise routines well into my second trimester, but adding yoga on was so helpful and has been something I’ve continued postpartum too.

My Charlotte recommendation: Okra and Blume Well offer prenatal yoga and Coterie offers a non-heated Peace class that is so relaxing and helpful for stretching. The Peace class is not prenatal specific, but most of the instructors can provide specific alternative poses where needed.

TLDR: Prenatal Yoga has a lot of benefits during pregnancy and ended up being a staple in my routine.

6. Pelvic Floor Physical Therapist

I thought this was only for people with problems postpartum. I ended up scheduling an appointment in my third trimester, but I think one in the second trimester would have been more helpful to learn about the best ways to push to protect my pelvic floor. Postpartum, I am continuing pelvic floor PT to help with diastasis recti (ab separation that happens during pregnancy). This has been helpful for keeping me accountable to doing the deep core exercises needed for my recovery.

My Charlotte recommendation: Kerry at Equipt Women’s Health is supportive, knowledgeable, and has been great helping me through my recovery.

TLDR: Everyone giving birth can benefit from some understanding of the pelvic floor – find someone in your second trimester to do some push prep and ensure you have someone to go to in postpartum to support your specific recovery needs.

7. Chiropractor

This was something my midwife recommended to help create space in my pelvis through proper alignment. The small adjustments “think one centimeter of alignment” can either aid or detract from the labor experience. This may also be helpful if you are getting headaches while pregnant/postpartum or have other aches and pains that yoga and stretching aren’t helping.

My Charlotte recommendation: Kurt at Good Bones is certified in the Webster technique(pregnancy specific technique) and has been amazing through my pregnancy and post-partum.

TLDR: Consider seeing someone trained in the Webster technique to help align your pelvis and help with other pregnancy aches and pains.

8. Massage Therapist

I learned not all pre-natal massage therapists are created equal – I tried a bunch and getting a massage while pregnant is just different. They will either have you lay on your side or some will offer a pregnancy pillow that props you up and has a hole for your belly.

If you find the right place, it can be so nice and relaxing especially with all of the aches and pains that come with growing a tiny human. I also ended up getting acupressure massages (natural labor induction massages where they focus on specific pressure points) to encourage my stubborn little Brantley to come (he finally came out at almost 42 weeks).

My Charlotte recommendation: Blume Well was created specifically for pregnant women – I only wish I had found them sooner.

TLDR: Find a good place that knows how to give pregnancy-specific massages – helpful for aches, relaxing, and natural labor induction (if you are 40+ weeks pregnant).

9. Doula

I didn’t end up having a doula (trained birth companion to support through birth experience). Travis declared himself “Daddy Doula”, so we got him trained up (listened to podcasts, used this birth deck, and attended the birth class). He was fabulous – I think my midwives were shocked at his level of knowledge and support.

That said, my labor ended up being 36 hours, and we both think it would have been nice for him to have a break/some additional support. Some people also hire post-partum doulas (support person to help after birth with the transition at home and overnight support when you have a newborn waking up every hour/couple of hours).

Our family ended up filling this support role for us, but if we didn’t have that support, this would have been something to consider.

My Charlotte recommendation: Queen City Doula Care, Aussie Doula or Doula Rachel are a few that were recommended to me. Check out our tips and tricks for the other DIY Daddy Doulas.

TLDR: Consider hiring a doula if you are looking for a trained birth companion (although still non-medical) to support you through labor and/or post-partum. Do this as early as possible as they book up.

10. Therapist

There is so much change that comes with having a baby – physical, emotional, hormonal, etc. You never know when you will need to talk to someone or if something will pop up as you navigate life as a new parent. Find a therapist that you can trust and will be there for you when you need them.

TLDR: Have a therapist on standby.